Irony of all ironies, guess who lives next to a pro-adoption, pro-spay/neuter dog magazine editor? Yup. I’m neighbors with a backyard breeder. He moved in a little over a year ago and I’ve already known of two litters produced by his little puppy-making machine. I believe the first known litter was already a few weeks old when he moved in and the second litter was produced just days ago.
Well this is awkward.
I spend my time trying to promote responsible dog ownership and the prime example of an ignorant dog owner lives right next door. The good thing is that I rarely see him, so I’ve never had that much interaction with him. And another good thing is that he’s renting, so there’s a glimmer of hope he’ll move out eventually. The bad thing is I truly believe there’s absolutely nothing I could do or say to him that would change his behavior. Our most recent interaction went like this:
HIM (across the driveway): Hey! She’s giving birth right now so we’re going to have some puppies soon!
ME: Oh. Okay.
I then pretended to be distracted by my own two dogs and hurried inside my house. I held back, because I didn’t want to get into an argument and also because again, it wouldn’t change his behavior anyway. But here’s how I would have imagined it would go:
HIM: Hey! She’s giving birth right now so we’re going to have some puppies soon!
ME: Oh, really? I didn’t realize you had show dogs.
HIM: I don’t.
ME: Oh. Well what traits are you looking for then?
HIM: Traits? She’s having puppies.
ME: Yes, and I assume you must be working to better the breed, so what favorable traits are you passing down the lineage?
HIM: Better the..? Oh! She’s a real good dog! Good lookin’ and everything.
ME: Yes. I see. And her mother and father?
HIM: They’re pits.
ME: I would think so. But where did they come from?
HIM: Oh, my buddy’s dog is the mother! The dad….hmmm….I don’t remember.
ME: So, you can’t trace the dog’s lineage?
HIM: Lineage….Oh, um, yeah I know her mother is my buddy’s dog.
ME: (smiling) Yes, I believe you did say that, didn’t you? How do you know you haven’t passed on any bad genes? Did you have her tested along with the stud?
HIM: Aw, they don’t need tests. I know they’re healthy!
ME: Right. So what are you going to do with the puppies?
HIM: Oh everybody’s gonna want one of these babies! I’m gonna put’em on Craigslist and I bet they’ll be snatched up in no time.
ME: Right. Craigslist. Because all the reputable breeders are on Craigslist.
HIM: Oh yeah! You can find all kinds of dogs on there. It’s great. But of course, mine are the best!
ME: Okay then. Well, you are a perfect example then, aren’t you?
HIM: Yep. Perfect!
Perfect example of a complete idiot. Don’t be like this guy. And what do you think? Should I speak up the next time I talk to him?